Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait
Vinny Testaverde became the oldest starting quarterback to win a game in NFL history when the Cardinal defense was repelled by the smell of Ben Gay. Testaverde is so old he can still remember when Terry Bradshaw made sense.
A Saints-Seahawks game was delayed for eight minutes when NBC’s suspended Cable Cam began falling toward the field. The collapse was so sudden that viewers thought they were watching the Mets.
Blazers first-round pick Petteri Koponen has just completed his required six-month stint in Finland’s army. The only thing more useless than Finland’s army is the Portland Trailblazers.
NBA commissioner David Stern might punish the Knicks for being found liable in a sexual harassment suit. The punishment will be playing for the Knicks.
Boxer Marco Antonio Barrera retired following his lopsided loss to Manny Pacquiao. Most fight fans were stunned, figuring he’d retired before the fight.
A Pizza Hut promotion featured Lions receiver Roy Williams delivering pies. John Kitna tried delivering a few, but they kept getting intercepted.
And Pete Rose issued a public challenge saying that he will give $100 to anyone who sees him gambling. So Rose just bet that he wouldn’t bet. Thanks for the $100, Pete. We’ll use it to pay for our next trip to the land of irony.
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