Hi my name is Scott Boras and because my client Alex Rodriguez needs attention, I am going to release the news a day or two early that ARod is going to opt-out of his contract with the New York Yankees. The reason why is that the Red Sox don’t need the attention, it should all be focused on my prized stallion, who is worth more than the Red Sox franchise.
It was bad enough that Joe “I want my Troy Aikman back” Buck and Tim “Get a clue” McCarver had to report about it during the game, the slimy little twerp that is Ken Rosenthal had to call Boras and get a statement from him. And after some severe detective work and a couple of Lincoln’s slipped to a few people, I managed to get my hands on the complete transcript of the conversation.
Boras: wtf do you want rosenthal?
Rosenthal: well that nimbwit Heyman beat me to the story but I am on during the World Series, how would you like the attention.
Boras: I’d love it and who cares if it’s the World Series.
Rosenthal: yeah the Sox are going to win anyways.
Boras: Your still shorter than Pedroia.
Wait it gets better, Boras actually had the balls to apologize and said he meant to disrepect by it. If you’ve ever played liar’s poker, this is the time that you call bullshit.
“I apologize to the Boston Red Sox and Colorado Rockies and their players, Major League Baseball and its players, and baseball fans everywhere for that interference,” Boras said in a statement.
“The teams and players involved deserved to be the focus of the evening and honored with the utmost respect,” it continued. “The unfortunate result was not my intent, but is solely my fault. I could have handled this situation better, and for that I am truly sorry.”
Someone enter Boras into the 2008 World Series of Poker, where bullshit reigns supreme.
