The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait

Oakland Raiders receiver Randy Moss was seen asking O.J. Simpson to pose with him for pictures at a Miami hotspot the other night. It’s nice to see that Moss has finally found a role model he can look up to.

President George W. Bush honored the University of Florida’s football team with a ceremony on the White House’s South lawn. It was a joyous gathering of dozens of guys who wear helmets and one who probably should.

In college basketball, this year’s NCAA tournament is expected to pull in more than $500 million in TV advertising revenue. Wow – the NCAA hasn’t seen that much money being tossed around since Chris Webber. Wow, $500 million. That’s almost as much as it costs to go to USC.

The Denver Nuggets Carmelo Anthony and Allen Iverson both support Colorado’s decision to make their new state song “Rocky Mountain High.” Really high.

The Nintendo Wii’s Tiger Woods PGA Tour ’07 is being called the most realistic golf game yet. It’s so realistic that viewers are guaranteed to fall asleep halfway through. Ahh, video game golf. Where every button is the snooze button.

In baseball, St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony La Russa was arrested Thursday on suspicion of drunken driving after police found him asleep inside his running SUV. Turns out his drowsiness was simply brought on by listening to replays of last year’s World Series.

And a woman previously charged with stalking announcer Bob Uecker was asked to leave a Milwaukee Brewers’ spring training game yesterday. The woman is believed to be suffering from psychological problems and extremely bad vision. She is also a self-described Brewers fan, yet another sign that she’s insane.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit