Once again I had nothing better to do as I watch the game so here they come:
Joe Buck already called Jake Westbrook, Jason. It was the first pitch of the game.
Not a good start for the Sox as Dustin Pedroia goes down like a prom date on a whiff.
David Ortiz hits a “laser” at Apple Strudel Cabrera and it’s a 4-6-3 double dip to end the inning. No word from Buck on if the “laser” was attached to a sharks head.
Did Ryan Garko go to the “Johnny Damon School for People Who Want to Talk Good”? I think he was the valedictorian after listening to him give the lineup for Chief Wahoo’s boys.
Daisuke Matsuzaka has always reminded me of how a dog looks trying to hump air when he’s in the windup.
Nice play there by Julio Lugo to get Grady Sizemore, all those ladies are now pissed because Sizemore is hiding in the dugout.
Tim McCarver do you think Cabrera was playing in the infield because the other night when he played on the grass he almost ate the ball on a bad hop off the lip of the grass?
What the hell is that god-awful noise in the background during the game? I think it’s a scorching case of reverb but it sounds like two whales are trying to mate. Hey that my third sex joke and it’s just the first inning.
Hey do you think Lebron James will be at the game wearing a Red Sox hat??
Nice boot there Garko on the Drew grounder, you field like Damon too.
Gotta love the fans cheering a bad throw home from shallow left field by Kenny Lofton.
Another double play this one with the bases loaded ends another Sox threat.
Grown men and painted faces woo hoo, the yahoo’s are out.
Crap a 2 out 2 run homer by Lofton. Are these curtain calls for a two run homer in the second inning really necessary? Maybe the curtain call is for that throw?
FOX needs to find another song besides “Cleveland Rocks” whenever the Indians are in the lead. I nominate the “Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald”. Hell it’s a song about a boat sinking on one of the Great Lakes that’s gotta count for something right? I ask one thing of you people reading this your job is to find a new song.
(This paragraph was added later because all you bitches lemme down and not one of you came up with a Cleveland song. I got “Lets move to Cleveland” by Frank Zappa; “Mean Night in Cleveland” by Cactus; “Rednecks” by Randy Newman; “Look out Cleveland” by The Band; “Pancho and Lefty” by Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings; “Oh My Sweet Carolina” by Ryan Adams and “Drunk on the Moon” by Tom Waits. Who you got put them in the comments.)
Bronx cheer for Garko for handling that grounder cleanly.
Thanks Joe Buck for telling us where Goodyear is based. It’s Akron in case any of you all missed it.
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Did you know that only two active pitchers throw more groundball outs than Jake Westbrook? Uh Tim don’t you have to be active to get those outs?
I said it before I don’t mind saying it again. Dane Cook…..STFU!!!!!! Ha ha they cut the end of the spot to get to the first pitch so Dane ended with “there’s only one……” One what? Juicy cheeseburger? Piece of gum? Condom left? Ball in John Kruk’s bag? Come back Dane I need to know, please, please tell me. It that was TBS we’d know what there is one of that’s for sure.
For Christ sake I’ll pay the first Sox fan to punch a hole through that base drum $100.
Hey look it’s a Browns cheerleader with the pom-poms. She cheered when Bernie Kosar was the QB though.
I just love the Burger King 99 cent menu item commercials they’re pretty clever. “Here son put this extra napkin in your wallet”. “Thanks Dr. Love”.
Way to play the ball off the wall there Lofton. Expect a curtain call I do.
Ha ha Westbrook missed twice with strikes and some fan is up screaming at the ump. Dude he can not hear you.
Ouchie, Ortiz just took one for family right in the jewels. I hope he tested his cup before the game to see if it was working. That was a bad base running play.
Garko again with the damn glove who the hell does he think he is Doug Mientkiewicz?
Did you know when Daisuke was signed there was a lot of publicity?? LOL @ TIMMAY!!!! According to McCarver he hasn’t thrown his gyro ball in the second half of the year. YEAH TIMMAY!!!
C’mon lets have a curtain call for Lofton’s ground out. Cleveland you disappoint me, you really do.
Is it me or is an interview with a hitting coach similar to an interview with a NASCAR driver? That guy talked for 2 minutes and I have no idea what he said other than the Hardee’s Lazy Boy Chevrolet ran good and rubbin’ is racing.
The Sox need to crank this up here and send “Jason” to the shower. It’d be a shame because all said Matsuzaka has pitched a good game and it’d be a shame to waste it.
“From 1995 to early 2000 there was 455 straight sell outs here. That ended in April 2001”. – TIMMAY!!!!! Uh, what?
Is it me or does Mark Shapiro look like Michael Bolton after the hair cut?
I’m so glad FOX is showing all the Indians jack off fans tonight like they did in Boston the last two games. I think a couple of these guys want to be Grady’s Lady.
According to TIMMAY!!!! Matsuzaka just threw a gyro ball to Sizemore. To quote ESPN’s Tom Jackson, “are you retarded”?
Did you ever wonder why those Indians fans who paint their faces like Chief Wahoo are single? It’s because they paint their faces like Chief Wahoo.
3-0 Tribe Apple Strudel just singled up the middle. What are the chances FOX goes with “Cleveland Rocks” at the next break? Which they did, I told they would.
Great play by Pedroia on Travis Hafner’s groundball but Hafner was safe at first and another run scores 4-0 Indians.
“It’s an RBI force out off the bat of Travis Hafner”. – Joe Buck. Hmm actually isn’t it a RBI fielder’s choice there Joe.
Poor Daisuke can’t buy an out here in the 5th inning. And after that cue shot by Victor Martinez he’s done.
Single by Youk up the middle. According to TIMMAY!!!!! 13 of the Sox 16 outs have been ground outs.
I still think Shapiro looks like Michael Bolton. “So tell me how am I supposed to live with you…..”
Manny with yet another twin killing with two runners on.
According to Joe and TIMMAY!!!! The story tonight is Jake Westbrook. Uh what was your clue? The four hits he’s given up or the no runs?
Is it blasphemous to wear a Michigan sweatshirt at a baseball game played in Ohio?
WOOOO HOOOOO Jason Varitek finally takes Westbrook out and it’s 4-2.
Nice infield hit by Lugo to keep the inning alive. And that’s the end of Westbrook, so at least we won’t have to hear about how many ground outs he has tonight any longer.
Oh here comes the bug video. There was a forecast for bugs. Tonight: Mostly Clear with a low around 55 and a 82% of bugs at the Jake. Funny thing is there’s always bugs at the Jake but they’re usually in the food or hovering around the Cleveland “women”.
That damn reverb is back again on the audio channel. Did FOX borrow equipment from TBS?
Nice job by Okie here comes the thunder….Youk, Ortiz and Manny.
Joe and TIMMAY!!!! Like how Youk slides his hand up and down the handle. Or as TIMMAY!!!! put it the other night “Youkilis is fingering his bat”.
Damn Ortiz had that ball really hang up there.
Cleveland has rally towels too. Did they buy the over runs from the Diamondbacks? Another team too cheap for a monkey.
I think Manny was either distracted by the rally towels or the guys with the painted faces.
Manny!!!!!!!!!!! Delcarmen that is. Nice job.
Top nine down two with Lowell, Drew and Tek.
“Nobody had more saves than Joe Borowski”. Joe no one had more blown saves and when was the last time you saw a closer with an ERA over 5.00
Borowski pitched in the Mexican league? Was Jake Taylor his catcher?
What was Lowell doing going after the first pitch?
Drew flies out 2 down.
It’s up to Varitek to keep it moving. Nice AB here by the captain but these long AB’s have yet to go the Sox way this series. Oh Jeezus I just had a Yaz 1978 flashback there. If he gets on who bats for Coco? No one because Tek just did pull a Yaz.
Now were down 2-1 and these people in Cleveland including the players and GM are acting like they won the fucking World Series. Don’t they know that’s back juju?
