Everyone either has a friend or knows of someone who is always scheming to try to invent something or make something better. Whether it’s Uncle Joe who blew up the family car trying to boost it’s power by using rocket fuel, your neighbor who had the bright idea to make his vaccuum do the walking thing like that robot vac only to have it suck up the family cat or Tim Taylor from “Tool Time” trying to give things “more power” generally these idea’s are not very good and lead to destruction of property or body parts.
Well I’d like to introduce you to Seattle Seahawks place kicker Josh Brown who plans on wearing heated pants during the game this Saturday against the Green Bay Packers at Lambeau Field in Green Bay, WI.
Brown says he has equipped his pants with battery-powered heaters for the calves, thighs and hamstrings. He told KIRO Radio that no matter how low the temperature drops, his legs will be 75 degrees.
While this may seem all fine and dandy to the average Joe I wonder if Doc Brown thought about what might happen if he has a bladder control issue and dribbles? What about if it gets too warm in there and his balls and ass crack start to sweat?
Some one call 9-1-1 that man’s ass looks to be on fire.
- Emergency Dispatcher: 9-1-1 what’s the emergency?
- Frantic caller from Seattle sideline: I need the fire deparment and an ambulance at Lambeau Field!
- ED: Sir we already have crews there on standby where do I need to send them?
- FCFSS: To the Seahawks bench our kickers pants are on fire and we can’t put water on it because it’s electrical!!
- ED: Uh, the kickers pants are on fire? Did he lie or something?
- FCFSS: Yes! No! He thought he’d try to stay warm and put battery powered heaters in his pants.
- ED: (uncontrollable laughter) (pause) Uh ok sir they’re on their way.
- ED: Control to the Lambeau crew.
- Lambeau emergency crew: Go Ahead.
- ED: Head over to the Seattle sideline and make sure you bring a CO2 extinguisher they’re having a problem with a portable heater they’ll explain more when you arrive.
- Kenny Albert: Hey Moose does it look like there’s smoke on the Seahawks bench?
- Darryl Johnston: Yeah it does Kenny they’re all huddled around someone over there. Goose what ya got?
- Tony Siragusa: Well guys it looks like a barbeque gone wrong over here, there’s smoke and flames shooting out of Josh Brown’s pants and that can’t be good. I’ve had a few times when I thought my ass was on fire but I never actually had flames shooting from it.
The National Weather Service is predicting a 20 percent chance of snow showers on Saturday in Green Bay, with a high near 28. Temperatures are expected to dip to 17 degrees on Saturday night for the 4:30 P.M. start.
