The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So) Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait

Topps is producing insert cards that commemorate each one of Barry Bonds’ career homers. If you put all 745 of them together, they’re slightly smaller than the size of his head.

Speaking of big things, Tony Gwynn said he plans to enter the Hall of Fame like he batted: at around 330.

According to a new study, Yankee Stadium sells 30,000 hot dogs during each home game, and only half of them are to Jason Giambi.

Most of the players on the New York Mets shaved their heads. Nothing brings fans out to the park like a big group of skinheads with bats. In a related story, John Rocker is now a Mets fan.

The Brewers recently gave away two free tickets to any fan willing to undergo a free prostate exam. Management must be getting fans ready for what it will feel like when they collapse.

Update on the NHL playoffs: they’re still happening. Yesterday, some team beat some other team. Even Canadians would rather watch baseball.

And the NBA has the highest ever percentage of minority executives in men’s sports history. If you count Isiah Thomas as an executive.

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