Once again I had nothing better to do as I watch the game so here they come:
Joe Buck already called Jake Westbrook, Jason. It was the first pitch of the game.
Not a good start for the Sox as Dustin Pedroia goes down like a prom date on a whiff.
David Ortiz hits a “laser” at Apple Strudel Cabrera and it’s a 4-6-3 double dip to end the inning. No word from Buck on if the “laser” was attached to a sharks head.
Did Ryan Garko go to the “Johnny Damon School for People Who Want to Talk Good”? I think he was the valedictorian after listening to him give the lineup for Chief Wahoo’s boys.
Daisuke Matsuzaka has always reminded me of how a dog looks trying to hump air when he’s in the windup.
Nice play there by Julio Lugo to get Grady Sizemore, all those ladies are now pissed because Sizemore is hiding in the dugout.
Tim McCarver do you think Cabrera was playing in the infield because the other night when he played on the grass he almost ate the ball on a bad hop off the lip of the grass?
What the hell is that god-awful noise in the background during the game? I think it’s a scorching case of reverb but it sounds like two whales are trying to mate. Hey that my third sex joke and it’s just the first inning.
Hey do you think Lebron James will be at the game wearing a Red Sox hat??
Nice boot there Garko on the Drew grounder, you field like Damon too.
Gotta love the fans cheering a bad throw home from shallow left field by Kenny Lofton.
Another double play this one with the bases loaded ends another Sox threat.
Grown men and painted faces woo hoo, the yahoo’s are out.
Crap a 2 out 2 run homer by Lofton. Are these curtain calls for a two run homer in the second inning really necessary? Maybe the curtain call is for that throw?
FOX needs to find another song besides “Cleveland Rocks” whenever the Indians are in the lead. I nominate the “Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald”. Hell it’s a song about a boat sinking on one of the Great Lakes that’s gotta count for something right? I ask one thing of you people reading this your job is to find a new song.
(This paragraph was added later because all you bitches lemme down and not one of you came up with a Cleveland song. I got “Lets move to Cleveland” by Frank Zappa; “Mean Night in Cleveland” by Cactus; “Rednecks” by Randy Newman; “Look out Cleveland” by The Band; “Pancho and Lefty” by Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings; “Oh My Sweet Carolina” by Ryan Adams and “Drunk on the Moon” by Tom Waits. Who you got put them in the comments.)
Bronx cheer for Garko for handling that grounder cleanly.
Thanks Joe Buck for telling us where Goodyear is based. It’s Akron in case any of you all missed it.
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