The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait

Denzel Washington’s son will make his NFL Europa debut for the Hamburg Sea Devils. Well done, Jackie Robinson! Denzel said he is very proud of his son for making it as a European football player, and he’s such a good actor that he said it convincingly, too.

In American football, Drew Bledsoe finally retired – from being benched. Unfortunately he’s already being benched from retirement in favor of Jake Plummer.

Suspended Titan Pac-Man Jones was ringside for his best friend Zab Judah’s fight with Ruben Galvan, mainly because he’s got nothing else to do. Thankfully, the fight was not in Vegas. Now that the suspended Tennessee Titan has the year free, may we suggest he try his hand at acting. First audition? The Longest Yard-Part II.

More trouble from the Imus scandal as new tapes reveal that he also said the Rutgers women’s basketball team was “from New Jersey.”

And the Chicago Blackhawks will have the first pick in the NHL Draft. The Blackhawks plan on using the pick to draft a new franchise. Either that or to draft fans that care.

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