The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)

Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait

We can’t predict the future, but we’d like to wish Michigan head coach Lloyd Carr good luck on the new job he’ll probably have soon.

NFL coaches Mike Nolan and Jack Del Rio will be outfitted exclusively by suit maker Joseph Abboud this year. Unfortunately for Bill Belichick, Abboud does not create oversized sweatshirts.

The son of Philadelphia Eagles coach Andy Reid has been charged with drugs and DUI. Who does this kid think he is, a football player?

Speaking of drunk, the Tampa City Council will not allow the Buccaneers to sell hard liquor at Raymond James Stadium. Clearly, the city council has never had to sit through an entire Buccs game.

Tough break for the Minnesota Timberwolves. A bum shoulder from a jet skiing accident could cause Mark Madsen to miss three months. Only three months. The Wolves are currently trying to negotiate a torn ACL.

In other injury news, one of Canada’s top gymnasts broke both his legs while practicing, forever silencing anyone who’d ever wished him luck.

And 1967 Masters champion Gay Brewer died at age 75, still hating his parents. But ironically loving beer. Gay Brewer. We had no idea Mike Piazza had been traded to Milwaukee.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

Red Sox News & Notes – 9/6

 

It was a case of déjà vu as one close call changed the game. Unfortunately this time, the call benefited the Blue Jays and coincidentally it was made by the same umpire, Kerwin Danley. Greg Zaun was able to slide under the tag of Jason Varitek even though the ball beat him to the plate to tie the game at 1. A few batters later, the Red Sox were looking at 3-1 deficit. The Sox came back to take the lead and that lead held up until the 8th when Troy Glaus took a pitch from the other Manny on the Red Sox and put it in someone’s windshield behind the Green Monstah. Hideki Okajima pitched the 9th for the Sox and gave up a bomb to Vernon Wells which put the Jays on top for good. So if you thought the Red Sox might go for a perfect record in September, the dream is over. After the game, the Sox got on a plane to go to Fenway Park at Camden Yards again to take on the hapless Baltimore Orioles, who got spanked in a bad way last night 17-2 by the team in Tampa Bay. But before Tim Wakefield tries to knuckle over the Nationals O’s, let’s take a look at the headlines and happenings from last night’s games in today’s Boston area and Toronto papers.

Blast zone [Boston Globe]

Jays leave it late to grab victory [The Globe and Mail]

Sox turn backs on basics [Boston Herald]

Wells’ blast buries Red Sox [Toronto Star]

A Late Punch [Hartford Courant]

Jays save face with late rally[Toronto Sun]

All’s well that ends (doh!) [Pro Jo]

Lowell might be too pricey [Boston Globe]

More Treatment For Manny [Hartford Courant]

Johnson knows his role [Toronto Sun]

No go’s for O’s [Boston Herald]

When Manny’s back in, Drew, not Ellsbury, should be out [Pro Jo]

It’s a tired explanation [Boston Globe]

Another PawSox call-up helps Red Sox [Pro Jo]

For more headlines and stories, head over to the Boston Globe, Boston Herald, Providence Journal, Hartford Courant, the Globe and Mail, Toronto Star, and Toronto Sun websites.

Red Sox vs Orioles Pitching Matchups

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Thursday September 6th, 7:05 PM

Tim Wakefield, RHP (16-10, 4.16) vs Garrett Olson, LHP (1-3, 7.22)

Friday September 7th, 7:05 PM

Jon Lester, LHP (3-0, 5.26) vs Daniel Cabrera, RHP (9-14, 5.06)

Saturday September 8th, 7:05 PM

Daisuke Matsuzaka, RHP (14-11, 4.11) vs Jon Leicester, RHP (0-1, 12.60 ERA)

Sunday September 9th, 1:35 PM

Josh Beckett, RHP (17-6, 3.30) vs Jeremy Guthrie, RHP (7-5, 3.65)

Thursday’s Tiptoe Around the AL & NL Central

NL CentralAL CentralThe Astros have started interviewing candidates for their vacant GM position.

The Indians are in control of their destiny in their run to the playoffs.

The Brewers hope Ray King can get them to the postseason even though he isn’t eligible.

The Royals’ Ross Gload was available to pinch-hit despite hyperextending his knee the night before.

Who will pitch for the Cardinals on any given day is up in the air.

Jim Leyland says the Tigers are probably playing for the wild card now.

Lou Pinella hopes the lineup changes he made sparks some offense up for the Cubs.

The Twins catchers are getting beat up lately.

The Pirates have too many starting pitchers for the final month of the season.

The White Sox said that their prospects didn’t earn promotions this year.

The Reds don’t like to employ a shift on defense.

Who’s Bill Henry?

Fake Bill Henry with real Bill Henry baseball cards

 

Who is Bill Henry? Is he the same Bill Henry who lives in Texas or is he the one who died recently in Lakeland, FL? The real Bill Henry was a pitcher for the Cincinnati Reds, Chicago Cubs, Boston Red Sox other teams in the 1950’s and ’60’s and so was the other Bill Henry, so his family thought.

A Lakeland, FL man, (you guessed it) Bill (Clarence) Henry, deceived his family and friends into thinking he was Bill (Rodman) Henry, the pitcher with a career record of 46-50 and one World Series appearance. The fake Henry’s wife said that they didn’t have a lot of memorabilia and with the stories he told to everyone, they believed that he did pitch, albeit in the minor leagues. But who could doubt the man who was able to recall names of people who played in the 40’s, 50’s and 60’s.

When a baseball historian, David Lambert, saw an obituary for Bill Henry the former Reds pitcher had died, he started to do some research on him. When he saw the obit, he noticed that some things didn’t match up. So when he found out that the real Bill Henry’s last address on file with MLB was Deer Park, TX, he called to offer his condolences to his wife.

Her response to the phone call was that the real Bill Henry was sitting right next to her alive and well. Henry was ok with the whole mess.

“It’s just amazing someone would want to live someone else’s life,” said Henry, a 79-year-old Houston Ship Channel dispatcher, who once pitched two games in the 1961 World Series. “I say more power to him if it helped him in his career.”

The scariest part of this whole ordeal. They looked very similar.

[Houston Chronicle]

Delcarmen, Okajima, Squandered Chances Do In Sox, 6-4

Wells after his two run jack

In what started as a promising night and toward the end looked like a win for Curt Schilling turned into a bullpen disaster courtesy of Manny Delcarmen and Hideki Okajima. The pair who are usually uber-reliable yielded the tying and go ahead homeruns in consecutive innings in a 6-4 Toronto win over Boston at Fenway Park.

But there were other failures for the Sox along the way as well, most notably leaving the bases loaded in the 7th and only getting one run with the bases loaded in the first and fifth.

The Red Sox jumped out to a quick 1-0 lead in the first inning and I’ll give you one guess who was in the middle of it. Jacoby Ellsbury. He had a one out double down the line into left field off of Toronto starter Shawn Marcum, David Ortiz followed with a walk. Mike Lowell singled to center but because of how hard the ball was hit 3rd base coach DeMarlo Hale held Ellsbury at third to load the bases. JD Drew then hit the ball on screws but right at Jays second baseman Aaron Hill who had a little bobble on the ball and was only able to force Lowell at second allowing Ellsbury to score.

SchillingAfter that Marcum settled down and matched Boston starter Schilling pretty much over the next few innings. The Sox did have runners on in the second and third innings but a line drive turned into a twin killing in the second and Ortiz running into the third out in the third trying to stretch his single into a double ended any semblance of threats.

Meanwhile Schilling looked good through his first four innings. He gave up back-to-back singles to Frank Thomas and Troy Glaus to start the second but left them stranded. A lead off double by Alex Rios in the fourth looked like trouble but Rios helped Schilling out with a poor base running play and got trapped off of third base and caught in a run down for the second out of the inning. That effectively killed the Jays chances in the fourth.

Zaun safe at home on a close playThe fifth though was a different story. A one out walk to Gregg Zaun looked harmless especially after it turned into two out and a runner on first. But Vernon Wells singled to center, Matt Stairs singled to left to score Zaun on a close relay at the plate by Lowell. Rios followed with his second hit a RBI single to right and it was 2-1 Toronto. Thomas’ second single of the night scored Stairs and it was 3-1 Jays, before Glaus flew out to a sliding Ellsbury to end the inning.

Boston got one back in the fifth when Jason Varitek walked for the second time and a bunt single by Coco Crisp put two on with no one out. Alex Cora failed to advance the runners and struck out, Julio Lugo singled to left and that loaded the bases for Ellsbury who hit a pitch off of his shoe tops to center for a sacrifice fly to cut the Toronto lead to 3-2. Ortiz then fouled out to Glaus along side the Blue Jay dugout and the Sox would have to settle for just the one run.

Varitek's HR trotBrian Wolfe came on to pitch for Toronto in the sixth, he got the first two outs rather easily then he hit Youkilis on his right elbow. It was the 14th HBP for Youkilis this year. Varitek followed that up with a two run HR, his 13th, down the right field line inside the foul pole and the Red Sox reclaimed the lead 4-3. Just like that Marcum’s chance for a win was gone. Crisp hit a ball into the gap in left center, he was running all the way out of the box and beat the tag at second for a double. But he would end up being left there.

The Sox threatened in the seventh, facing Brandon League, Lugo led off with a walk. Scott Downs, who got Ellsbury to foul out to Glaus and then gave up a single to Ortiz, replaced League. John Gibbons went back to his bullpen for Casey Janssen who came in and wild pitched the runners to second and third, Lowell walked to fill the bases but Janssen came back to strike out Drew and Youkilis and escape the jam. Leaving the bases loaded with one out would comeback to haunt the Sox fairly quickly.

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761 + 1

Barry Bonds 762

In case you care about Barry Bonds and I know most of you don’t, he hit #762 tonight against the Rockies.Yes I am obsessed I know.

Paw Prints – Men’s Basketball

SOX & Dawgs - Paw Prints

The University of Connecticut released the 2007-08 Men’s Basketball schedule today and for the first time in 9 years, they will play 18 Big East games. The non-conference portion of the schedule this year is a little tougher as well.

The Huskies will start out playing in the 2K Sports College Hoops Classic benefiting Coaches vs. Cancer against undetermined opponents. They will also face Gonzaga in the Hall of Fame Classic as well as travel to Indiana to play the Hoosiers.

Besides the Big East games at home, Georgia Tech highlights the rest of the home schedule as well as a visit from Tom Moore’s Quinnipiac Braves team.

With the 18 game schedule in the Big East this year, the Huskies will face Cincinnati, Notre Dame and Providence twice. At least 13 of the games will be on national TV and that could go up to at least 15 or so during the regular season.

For a look at the schedule, click here.

The Hits Keep Coming… Episode Recap

‘The Hits Keep Coming’ internet radio show on Blog Talk Radio and MVN Radio just had another episode tonight. Thanks to Kenrick for helping make everything go smoothly, as well as the conversation and taking out part of his evening to talk about the sport we love. Jason and Anthony will be back next week along with myself and Kenrick for another show.

Website: http://blogtalkradio.com/oriolepost

Listen to the show archive on the sidebar to the right. The show is up and live for your listening pleasure.

Recap

  • Clay Buchholz and his no-hitter/Anthony seeing the Orioles make history 2 times in 2 weeks.
  • Roger Clemens/Wang/AROD injuries
  • Carl Crawford blowing up
  • Carlos Zambrano’s comments about being booed and his subsequent apology
  • Chipper Jones’ comments about the umpiring
  • The division and wild card races.

Download the Archive

Enjoy and thanks for tuning in!