The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait
This week marked the beginning of the NBA playoffs. Or as the Hawks call it: vacation time.
Elsewhere in basketball, Upper Deck Authenticated’s new Kobe Bryant action figure is so realistic you can’t even get the ball out of his hands.
Fox featured San Diego State alumni Mark Grace, Jeanne Zelasko and Kevin Kennedy on the same program. We’re not sure what’s stranger; the fact that all three broadcasters attended the same school or the fact that three San Diego State grads actually managed to find jobs.
Texas Rangers closer Eric Gagne is back on the disabled list, upsetting the one fantasy owner who picked up Eric Gagne. Gagne blames his newest injury on the rehab work he did at Walter Reed Army Medical Center
Cubs broadcaster Ron Santo is in the hospital while undergoing tests for an irregular heartbeat. What brought on the palpitations? Following the Cubs.
Detroit Tigers first baseman Sean Casey flew home recently to find his car up on cinder blocks with the windows smashed in. Authorities have ruled out Manny Ramirez, who is incapable of hitting anything.
Justin Timberlake announced that he’d like to play professional golf. Joey Fatone is excited, as he was looking for a new job caddying.
And the Indianapolis Colts visited the White House. President Bush was happy for the change of pace – meeting an offensive line instead of uttering one. Bush was presented with a #43 jersey, commemorating his status as America’s 43rd president, as well as all 43 states.
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