Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait
The San Francisco Giants dedicated a 10-foot by 70-foot mural celebrating the team’s history in the city. The team hopes that next year it can find a big enough wall to accommodate the rest of Barry Bonds’ forehead. The Giants also announced that they will not be re-signing Bonds. Let us be the first to say, “neener neener neener!”
The Tampa Bay Devil Rays are now marketing their own brand of hot sauce. The hot sauce is also terrible at baseball.
NHL commissioner Gary Bettman has suggested that his league is looking to expand into Europe, because he’s run out of small southern cities that hate hockey.
Football fans are still reacting to Donovan McNabb’s comments about black QBs facing more scrutiny than white QB’s. Tim Couch, Joey Harrington, Rex Grossman, Eli Manning, Danny Wuerffel, and Ryan Leaf were unavailable for comment.
Kevin Everett, the Buffalo Bills player who everyone thought might be paralyzed, used his arms this week. To cover his eyes while watching the Bills play.
Six University of Texas football players have now been arrested since June. The Longhorns are hoping that things calm down so they can graduate and play for the Bengals.
Rockets center Yao Ming will miss the team’s media day and first two days of practice to appear at the Special Olympics in Shanghai. Wow. We thought that was just a heavy accent.
The Houston Rockets have finally come to terms with Dikembe Mutombo, making him the oldest player in the league. Mutombo is so old that his first contract is on papyrus.
And in a case that’s been all over the news, American cyclist Floyd Landis has been stripped of his 2006 Tour de France title. Thankfully he’s Mennonite, so his relatives will never know.
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