Mrs. Donovan was walking down O’Connell Street in
Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.
The Father said,
“Top o’ the mornin’ to ye! Aren’t ye Mrs. Donovan and
didn’t I marry ye and yer hoosband 2 years ago?”
She replied, “Aye, that ye did, Father.”
The Father asked, “And be there any wee little ones yet?”
She replied, “No, not yet, Father.”
The Father said, “Well now, I’m going to Rome next week
and I’ll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.”
She replied, “Oh, thank ye, Father.” They then parted ways.
Some years later they met again.
The Father asked, “Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?”
She replied, “Oh, very well, Father!”
The Father asked, “And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?”
She replied, “Oh yes, Father! Three sets of twins and 4 singles,
10 in all!”
The Father said, “That’s wonderful! How is yer loving hoosband doing?”
She replied, “E’s gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin’ candle.”
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At O’Malley’s Pub, Johnny O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life between the lovely legs of me wife!” That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, “Because of you I won the prize for the Best toast of the night.” She said, “Aye, did ye now. And just what was your toast?”
John said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.” “Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary”. She said, “Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he’s only been there twice in the last four years. “Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.”
