Written by Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait
A Utah high school football coach is facing charges of animal cruelty because he stomped a pheasant that ran on the field. This weekend, the pheasant is favored by three over Notre Dame.
A Kansas high school football team beat an opponent 83-0 last week. The blowout made the game as un-exciting as Kansas itself.
Spanish researchers say that beer is better than water for re-hydrating after a hard workout. Which is how John Daly won the 1991 PGA Championship.
Major League Baseball is considering installing instant replay in important games. That way Scott Boras has more time to hold press conferences. Boras client Alex Rodriguez might sign with the Chicago Cubs, where he won’t even get a chance to fold in the playoffs.
The hapless Pittsburgh Pirates named John Russell their new manager. Yeah, that should do it.
Barry Bonds claims that he will not bring any baggage to whatever team signs him, especially since his baggage is now tiny and shriveled.
Sammy Sosa wants to play in the Major Leagues next year, as long as he can get at least $7 million. Apparently cork is more expensive than it looks.
Los Angeles forward Lamar Odom sustained a slight concussion in an automobile accident. Paramedics were called after Odom stumbled out of the car, thinking the Lakers had a shot at the championship.
And the NFL’s oldest living player Sam Dana passed away at 104. Next week, he’ll be returning punts for the Rams.
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